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Writer's pictureWe Are Relationships

Am I In Love? Three Ways To Know the Love Is Real

Are you #FallingInLove? Not sure? Here are three signs to look for that will help you know if it's true love or if you're just wasting your time.


The fireworks are exploding. There's music in the air, a song in your heart. You just can't get enough of your new boo. But is that love you're feeling? Is it that "love" thing you've heard everyone talk about? Or is this just you gawking at your new shiny toy and assuaging your physical desires?


“If you can only recite basic information that anyone could discover but are afraid to have a disagreement, then the answer to "Am I In Love?" is most likely "No.”

Telling the difference between love and lust isn't easy for anyone, and unfortunately making the wrong call means it can all end in tears. The good new is that there are a few ways you can tell pure physical attraction from lasting true love. To find out if your love is destined to go the distance or if you are going to be 'so over' this person in a month, reflect on your relationship and look for these three signs that your love is for real.


Love Sign #1: Good Communication

The first sign of real love is good communication. Of course, there is actual good communication and superficial good communication. Take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, "How many deep and revealing conversations have I had with my bae?" Have you argued or disagreed and lived to tell about it? Do you know their viewpoint on kids, the checkbooks, religion and other touchy issues? Do you know their goals and ambitions and plans to reach them? On a less serious note, can you recite their favorite song, pick out their favorite candy bar and watch their favorite movie over and over again? You see, you’re trying to build a relationship here, not a preteen fan club for this person. If you can only recite basic information that anyone could discover but are afraid to have a disagreement, then the answer to "Am I In Love?" is most likely "No."


Love Sign #2: Being Comfortable

The second sign of a love that will last is your level of comfort in the relationship. This is not necessarily about being comfortable with seeing each other without having shaved first or applied makeup (although those things don't hurt). This kind of comfort level comes from knowing you aren’t constantly in a battle to keep your partner’s interest. If you have a really bad day and take it out on your partner, do you feel confident that you can apologize and move on without ruining your relationship? When the going gets tough, is your partner the first person you want to turn to because they are your best friend, or do you try to keep it from them for fear of sending them running for the door? If you can’t relax and revel in your relationship, then you are just trying to keep alive the flames you subconsciously know will die a little every day. Also, pay close attention to ability to be away from your partner for some time. There's relaxed partnership, and then there's obsession. If you are not comfortable being apart, then you probably don’t have a future together. (More on this later.)


Love Sign #3: Mutual Respect

The third sign of a loving relationship all comes down to respect. Do you respect your partner-warts and all-or do you have a running list of things that you wish you could change about your partner, and then, only then, they would be perfect. In truth, no one is perfect. Love is knowing your partner isn’t perfect and not caring. If you don’t have that feeling about your partner, or you feel like your partner doesn’t have that feeling about you, be prepared for the relationship to fizzle out.


Telling the difference between love and lust is something people have been trying to do since the dawn of man, and it is not an easy task. Often however, a simple, honest evaluation of your relationship can give you the answer you are looking for.


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