Relationships are surrounded by a number of myths, stories and advice freely offered by people on a daily basis. Unfortunately, many people listen to and believe these pieces of so-called wisdom to the point where it doesn’t help any couple, and it only hinders its growth. We’re here to cut out the noise and offer quality tips on improving romance in your relationship.
Many of the myths regarding relationships are incredibly damaging, and it is unfortunate that they are such common beliefs. Once you understand why certain bits of advice or information can be regarded as myths, you can break through what could be blocking the growth of your relationship. In fact, you may actually learn to appreciate your significant other and your role in your relationship even more.
Myth #1: “Battle” of the Sexes
Sensationalist television, magazines and talk radio have been key players when it comes to fueling any belief that there is a battle between the sexes happening. While there are definitely some physical and psychological differences, there are not enough to earn the term “battle” as a description. When you allow yourself to consider any kind of battle between the sexes, you risk grouping all men or all women into a certain categories and that leads to stereotyping. Once you recognize that your partner is a unique individual with a number of positive attributes, you can shed the thought that there should be any type of conflict between the two of you. Any thought of battle or conflict only leads to a lack of communication, misunderstandings and discourages growth in any relationship.
Myth #2: “Nice Guys Finish Last”
“Nice guys finish last” is one of the worst possible sayings floating around today. Whoever thought of that and actually uttered those words must have been feeling really low and full of self pity because there simply cannot be any other explanation. Nice guys never finish last. They may have a longer and harder road sometimes, but it isn’t often that you see the bullies and jerks finishing first. If they aren’t, who is? It’s the nice guys. But they are so nice and gracious you don’t hear them bragging about it. It is also important to note that the word ‘nice’ doesn’t mean ‘weak’ or ‘ effeminate’ in any way. “Nice” means “socially or conventionally correct; refined or virtuous” and is not at all negative. “Nice” is not another word for “push over” or “spineless.” “Nice” is as close to a “perfect” man as you can come, and they always end up first in line.
Myth #3: “Just Spice Things Up”
This phrase promotes the idea that romance is all you need in order to save your relationship. It is a is a wonderfully optimistic thought, but not quite accurate. If nothing but romance were sufficient to save a relationship, then break-ups and divorce would be less of a common occurrence and more of anomaly. It takes more than simple romance. There needs to be meaning behind the romance. You shouldn’t be trying to use romance to buy time or to placate your mate, because you’re not saving your relationship. You are only buying time and placating your bae. This can lead to feelings of resentment or a lack of appreciation which will only further damage your relationship.
Myth #4: “Give Them An Inch, and They’ll Take A Mile”
Couples who follow this ideology are usually suspicious of their significant others or are unwilling to give of themselves in fear that their actions won’t be reciprocated. This can span many aspects of their relationship, especially when it comes to finances. But, if you give a little bit consistently, you will be satisfying your significant other, and they won’t need that extra. However, if you don’t ever give or give so infrequently that your efforts are forgotten, your boo has every right to demand a mile from you. Give him or her an inch, and enjoy the journey down the rest of the mile together.
Myth #5: “Once We Get married, They’ll Change”
If you think you can change someone just by marrying them, you are in for a rude awakening. You cannot change a person. Period. Yet, you can make an impact on how they may see things. You can help them adjust to new or unfamiliar ways of thinking. But only they can decide to take what you teach/show them and change. They have to decide to “fix themselves”. Never manipulate or push your love into a direction he or she resists. In fact, you may be the one who needs to alter your perspective on things. Some couples can do it on their own. But other couples may need the help of a professional, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Professionals can often show you the skills you need for better understanding and acceptance of yourself and your significant other. If you are both in love, you will find a way to make it work.
Well there you have it. Five myths that can negatively affect the dynamics of your relationship. When things become tense between you and your partner, think of stereotypes you might be clinging to and work to dispel them from your psyche. If you are experiencing any of this and you are in a serious relationship, engaged, or married, your time as a couple could be limited and should be attended to by a professional immediately.
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